I often struggle with finding the right words in a conversation. I felt so socially inept that I desperately try to keep the conversation alive which ended up feeling inauthentic and awkward from both sides.
Making conversation is like dancing. One person talks and the other reciprocate, moving in sync with the rhythm. Being the verbal klutz, I ended up tripping all over my words and simply exudes neither flair nor charm.
I revisited a YouTube video by Shogo Garcia, on how to be an interesting person. In this 5 minute video, Garcia presented his thoughts on why 2 people who lead the very same lives — same job, same hobbies, similar circumstances can exude two varying personalities.
“We are a vessel through which information passes.” -Shogo Garcia
Essentially, he figured out that it boils down to how the individual processes the information. Those who lead a dull, boring life are those who are not living fully in the present moment.
Taking the pressure off you
I learnt that when we approach our day with a state of curiosity, we tend to fully participate in the moment. Indirectly, we take the pressure off from ourselves and concentrate on our environment.
The same goes for conversations. Being inquisitive promotes interest, thereby allowing us to be more engaging and interesting.
I always knew that conversation is about sharing our opinions, our feelings and ultimately about the human connection. Yet I often forget about this fact as I get too hung up with what I am trying to say.
*Lesson tip: Be interested, and you will be interesting.
Refrain from ‘reading between the lines’
What we interpret from the conversation is solely up to us. Try to reframe the positive side of the information we receive and refrain from analysing too much.
Our brain is a resource-intensive organ that controls our daily function. While it gives us the ability to think, unnecessary brain time can also be a detriment to our wellbeing.
Don’t get me wrong, I encourage introspection and self-reflection as they are healthy necessary habits for self-improvement. What I am suggesting is a balanced approach towards thinking.
By nature, our brain loves conjuring scenarios which is akin to a double-edged sword. It can serve to identify a problem for us OR gravitate us to the negative scenarios (which has yet to happen, but we strangely choose to believe).
Conclusion
I am no conversation expert and my thoughts are merely based on personal experience. To be fair, conversations are only a facet of the myriad factors (ie. non-verbals, behaviour) to effective overall communication.
At the end of the day, being interesting attracts interest and nobody wants a boring conversation.
What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts on this
