Everyone craves for approval and validation.
Ever since humans walk on earth, we fear being rejected as this means being ostracised from our community, which spells trouble to your survivability in the harsh environment filled with looming danger.
Now, in a modern world where the individual lifestyle is glorified and celebrated within the safe havens of our concrete jungle, should we remain fearful about rejection from our peers?
We are still social creatures that rely on one another for survival, albeit a little more subtle. We tweet, dm and #tagged our posts solely for our need for approval and to maintain contact within our modern ecology.
Tales about individuality are highly emphasised as being a “lone outcast, having a face off with adversity”.
Have you heard about the story of the hobbit who fights off the dragon to save the kingdom despite being repeatedly told that he is merely a farmer? Or remember the celebrated masked vigilante in Gotham City who was recognised as a saviour, even when the citizens vehemently rejected him initially?
Tales are stories to inspire.
Yes. While these are merely fiction, it speaks of a bigger story to demonstrate that there is nothing to fear towards rejection.
So, what can we learn about rejection and what is in it for me?
As inspired by Jia Jiang author of the bestseller Rejection Proof,
- Rejection is basically a game of odds and chances. If you throw a dice, the chances of rolling a six are 1:6. Keep at it until you get a six. There will be times when you get a no to your request. But eventually, you will get a resounding yes if you keep up with the attempts.
- Rejection is a human opinion. Sometimes we think that it has everything to do with you, about how you ask, how you present the request. But rejection is about two parties coming to an agreement. It is always the rejectee who feels bad about turning down a request. Chances are, the rejectee will give a reason on why a request cannot be met.
- Rejection builds your character. It encourages stepping out of your comfort zones and empowers yourself with self-reliance skills. Being rejected allows you to look into your request objectively, and often results in the human side of things where two parties can accommodate and add value to both.
My take on rejection
I have my fair share of rejections, sometimes to a point of despair which makes me feel broken inside.
To consistently think that there might be some faults with me. I sought answers through self-help books and rekindle my relationship with God.
Today, I embrace rejection as mere feedback from a request.
For rejection is a very dynamic and a very human thing that we should do. By tweaking; changing the environment, the people or the request accordingly, we can eventually get to a favourable outcome.
“By tweaking; changing the environment, the people or the request accordingly, we can eventually get to a favourable outcome.”
It is unnecessary to gain approval from everyone as people have varying principles and opinions.
Whatever trajectory we aspire in life does not need the constant approval of everyone, so long as you have that unshakeable belief that you can do it.
Good luck!
