Member-only story
SELF
Being Proud To Be Unworthy
There was one time back in my high school days when I was standing near the school foyer, seeking shelter from the rain as I was hinted at; to leave from my group.
We were like the woodlands bunch, always having plans after school. You know, the typical teenage stuff; football, hanging around the mall or simply raced to the nearest convenience store on our bicycles.
However, I am always ranked bottom in the social ladder simply because I was the newest member of the group. It sucks, but that’s the downsides of joining in late for the party.
That day, the boys secretly wanted to check out someplace in town and they intend to take a taxi. Considering that the cab only takes 4 passengers, it felt like my presence was an impediment to their plan.
It felt like there was a sudden “tribal council elimination” whenever a situation arises. Knowing that I am and will always be the weakest link, I eagerly tried to please, to the extent of compromising my own happiness.
“B-but pleasing others makes me happy as well, right?”
At least that is what I say to validate myself. I learned later in life that this kind of belief is selfish and self-centered, with no beneficial…
